So your child was recently identified as Autistic…
Firstly, congratulations and welcome to the club. Accurate identification is a positive step! Lots of people go through their whole lives being Autistic and not diagnosed feeling different and not knowing why. Not having a diagnosis can lead to depression, anxiety and being labelled as weird, difficult, aggressive, lazy. Autism is a much fairer and more accurate label than that. It’s a label that will enable your child to access resources and support at childcare, school, university, therapy supports and even in home support if required.
Autism is a different brain. Different not less. Autistic people communicate, think, feel and interact with others in a different way to neurotypicals. Every Autistic person is different to every other. This is why autism is sometimes described as a ‘spectrum’.
Autism is a lifelong disability. Children are born with it. They don’t acquire it from allergies, head injuries or vaccines. But it doesn’t mean they can’t live a colourful and fulfilling life. Before you start spiraling into the what if they don’ts… and it is very natural to have this reaction so give yourself grace when you feel that anxiety creeping in. But also- think about the endless possibilities. With the right supports autistic children become empowered adults with a full communication system whether it’s verbal or a speech generating device. They have their own companies, careers, jobs, friends, relationships and children.
Will it be easy parenting an autistic child? No but nothing worth doing ever is. Plus you have already been doing it. every day up until this moment wondering why your child is different. Nothing has changed other than now you know why. This miracle human with a sparkly brain has chosen you as their parent. There will be times where you are stressed, embarrassed and not everyone will understand. Some people will judge your parenting choices and there will always be aunty Flo who says “There’s nothing wrong with him he just needs more discipline.” Or Uncle Frank who says, “There was no Autism in my day.” In time you will learn to roll your eyes and ignore these comments. Have faith in yourself and your instincts. You and no one else knows what’s best for your child. There is nothing wrong with them or your parenting- they are unique, incredible and it should be celebrated.
You and your child will find your tribe. People who will understand when your child loudly stims, eats chicken nuggets every night or needs to take a weighted snake everywhere to keep themselves regulated. There is a huge network of parents going through exactly what you’re going through right now or have been through it with their children before. They want to help you. The Autistic community is inclusive, supportive and welcoming to new members and families. There are also neurodiversity affirming therapists trained and experienced in working with autistic children who will listen to you and help your child reach their goals. Just know if you have a question there is always someone who can help you. You are not alone. You have got this- you have already been doing it.
Written by Calla Dolton
